Welcome to Maktub by Mayssa

disclaimer: I know nothing, don't listen to me

If in the summer of 2019 you had played me a trailer of what the next 5 years had in store, my response would have been, “I’m not fucking going.” Some highlights have included:

• getting married, then getting divorced less than a year after the wedding

• leaving my stable, high-paying corporate career to launch a candy company, BEHAVE, only to leapfrog from one catastrophe to the next for the first 3 years of the business

• becoming aware of a parent’s addiction, giving them an ultimatum, dropping them off at rehab, watching them get sober, then relapse and relapse and relapse. Taking their addiction extremely personally, and finally understanding that it wasn’t about me (still working on this)

• reaching new emotional lows I’d never encountered before, waking up unable to get out of bed, physical pain like I’d been hit by a bus every morning. But having to push through each day with that fake founder smile on my face that only eroded my soul further

• deciding we would burn the entire business (product, supply chain, packaging, website) to the ground and rebuilding it from scratch. Thinking this would take 3 months. It taking over a year

• dating for the first time in my life, finding myself in all kinds of off-putting situations(hips), and rediscovering a flavor of anxiety around dating that I hadn’t felt since I was a teenager. Eventually giving up, prioritizing my peace and taking a long (almost 2 years long) break from dating

• taking no salary for the last 2 years, racking up tens of thousands in personal credit card debt, and personally guaranteeing a 6-figure loan to the business. Starting to redefine my relationship with and understanding of money, seeing it as energy, but still feeling scared shitless about the current state of my finances

And yet, here we are. And because I made it through, and because it was fucking hard, I have a few stories to tell, some thoughts and advice for my younger self, and about 30 journals, pages filled, under my bed which my indulgent ego would like to cast bits and pieces of out into the ether.

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Welcome to Maktub by Mayssa. Maktub is the Arabic word for “it is written.” Not only written by pen, but the idea that our stories have been written by some force beyond our human selves. It’s the idea that there is a power beyond us (or maybe, within us) that has written the story of our life and all the lives around us, the story of the planet and of humankind. I found a lot of solace in this ideas as I trekked through the barren desert of the last 5 years.

The idea that no matter how bad it got, there was some larger story at play. And I couldn’t always see beyond the painful reality of the current page in the storybook, but I could count on the fact that soon the page would turn, and eventually a new chapter would begin. And in the end, the story – even when hard or sad or painful – was always a beautiful one, and it was always mine. Discovering this truth kept me moving forward.

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I’m actually not sure what I’ll be sharing in this newsletter yet. Some things I might email you include:

1. thoughts on creating, branding, starting a business, career, startups, and fundraising

2. things I’ve learned about manifestation

3. stories

4. lists

5. things, tools, songs, movies, shows, people, and ideas that I love

6. things that helped me heal

7. what I’ve learned about career and money for the girlies (boys also welcome)

8. images, videos and art that make me laugh or cry or both

9. things that are cute or silly

10. dating advice (with the disclaimer to never take dating and relationship advice from a divorcee who doesn’t date)

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for indulging me and I’m glad you’re here. I’m excited to write and to share with you, and please don’t ever hesitate to write back to me. Starting now, I’d love to hear why you subscribed and what you’d like to hear from me.

My true selfish purpose here is to learn something from you, under the guise of you learning something from me (disclaimer: I know nothing, don’t listen to me).

Yalla,

Mayssa