Habits

that changed my life in 2024

1. I detoxed + cut back sugar

   1. This year I did a 12-week sugar detox in Q1, an 8-week detox in August/Sept, and generally cut back significantly, with a few periods of relapse / binging sprinkled in (nobody’s perfect…)

   2. I really hate to be the bearer of bad news, but the reality is undeniable - when I’m off sugar my life is noticeably better. I manifest more, attract more opportunities, have more energy, can think more clearly and creatively, feel less depressed, anxious, and fearful, and feel 100x better physically.

2. I changed my media diet

   1. I switched most of my content consumption to spiritual talks, inspirational stories and memoirs, replaying sessions with my spiritual teacher, and things that make me feel good (comedy, hopecore, tarot card readings - don’t judge me lol - etc.)

   2. What you don’t consume is probably more important than what you do. It was an immediate unsubscribe from rage-bait, dating horror stories, gossip, and really anything or anyone that gave me a bad vibe. PSA: you’re allowed to anything / anyone and decide you wanna remove it / them from your media sphere. I’m quick with the mute, unfollow and block buttons.

3. I changed the music I listen to

   1. Started paying close attention to the energy and words of the music I listen to, and curating my listening to things that feel high vibrational, soothing, fun, joyful, or spiritual.

   2. I was mindful to expose myself to new music. I found this to be a great neuroplasticity hack. Replaying music that takes you back to an old time or energy you experienced in the past could keep you stuck in the mindset, vibration and patterns you existed in at the time that that song imprinted on you. New music is conducive to cultivating and solidifying new neural pathways, which is what healing and growth is all about.

   3. I listened to a lot of ambient music. Songs and compositions that felt like adult lullabies.

   4. I started making playlists called “What 2024 feels like, vol X” and would update them every month or two. Filled them with music that generated the feeling and emotion I was trying to cultivate in myself and my life (inspired, creative, positive, sexy, winning, etc.) Here’s vol 3.

4. I committed myself to breathwork

   1. I did breathwork weekly, which was an important part of a longer process of re-regulating my nervous system which I’ve been in for a number of years. I feel it may have single-handedly been the most important practice that helped me with somatic processing + moving stuck energy and emotions out of my body

   2. How do I know? I used to cry constantly. My crying is down at least 75%. I still enjoy a good cry about once a quarter.

5. I attended Temple / Spiritual service

   1. While staying in LA the first half of the year I attended Sunday Services at Lake Shrine. They offer a non-denominational meditation + sermon which brought insight and peace, and was such a lovely way to start Sundays.

6. I started Praying

   1. I’m still working on deepening my connection to and even really understanding my Higher Power, but saying a short prayer every morning and night felt like an easy first step.

   2. And when my prayers started to be answered, I selfishly doubled down.

7. I became a consistent meditator

   1. I set a goal to meditate everyday in 2024. I had only dabbled in meditation prior and never found consistency and routine with it. I was probably about 90% completion on this one but have truly found routine here and have also seen so many undeniable positive effects from it.

8. I wrote more + shared my writing for the first time

   1. I committed to writing something weekly in Q1 of 2024, to build a habit and confidence around writing. These intentional writings outside of my daily journaling.

   2. I credit that writing practice to leading me here: feeling ready and able share some of my thoughts and musings with friends.

9. I cut out alcohol

   1. Another one I hate to be the bearer of bad news on. I had dabbled with long breaks from drinking in the past, and was probably something like sober-curious most of 2023, but going into 2024 I committed to taking the entire year off of drinking.

   2. I saw a TikTok in December 2023, I can’t find the link but she essentially looks straight at the camera (and into my soul) and says “you can’t sit here and tell me that your life doesn’t look how you want it to look, you aren’t accomplishing your goals, things aren’t going your way and act like you don’t understand why, but also still be drinking.” and it just struck a nerve in me. I decided to completely cut out alcohol for a year and see what happened.

   3. And again, hate to report but my life changed in so many ways for the better. If I didn’t quit drinking I wouldn’t have been able to establish and maintain most of the habits listed above. I was in a massive pit financially that I was able to climb out of, my business grew exponentially and is seeing incredible traction after what felt like years of banging our heads against a wall, I deepened my relationships and built new ones, I deepened my spirituality, and I’m the healthiest I’ve felt and probably looked in years.

10. I took immediate action

    1. I’m still new to and working on this one, but I made a commitment in August to take immediate action and it was also a game changer. When something crosses my mind, I don’t put it on a to-do list. I just do it. Right then and there. Whether it’s reaching out to someone, responding to a text or email, making a decision. If I can do it right now, I do.

    2. This created such a strong energetic pull and shift in my life. It was when I started intentionally doing this that BEHAVE went viral on Tiktok, our revenue grew 3x in a month, we branded a Cybertruck and drove it around Soho handing out candy and making content. It’s how I started this substack, it’s how I started making money again after a financial drought of over a year, and paid off most of my debt. It’s how I built and stuck to most of the habits above.

I used to think (read: wish) that positive change would just show up in my life one day. I thought I could continue existing as I was, the same old version of myself - same negative thoughts, same bad habits, same unhealthy physical behaviors - but as long as I made a vision board and was writing my dreams in a journal they were going to knock on my door and turn up one day. I just had to close my eyes and wait, cause I was ✨manifesting ✨ and also because (temper tantrum voice + Arthur fist) I deserved it!! 😡

Last bit of bad news to break here: it doesn’t work like that. Changing your life, accomplishing your goals, realizing your dreams — and most importantly, just feeling better — is a function of changing yourself. Change yourself, and the world around you mirrors something new back to you.

How do you change yourself? It’s not about a cure-all or an overnight remedy. It’s small changes, choices made daily, weekly, monthly. Which compound.

(although if you’re looking for something that can hyper-charge the comprehension and integration of some of these new thought patterns and beliefs, I do recommend psychedelic healing, ceremony and therapy).

Here’s the good news: (1) you’re in control. Waiting around for the universe or a romantic partner or a parent or an investor to change the course of your life is extremely disempowering. Because the only action available to you is to wait. Maybe pray, but the prayer only works when it’s accompanied by the other stuff.

And (2) it actually doesn’t take some massive, earth-shattering action. It takes a couple small micro-actions, repeated with consistency over a long (and usually not even that long tbh) period of time. Which make you feel a tiny bit better each time you do them. For one, because these are positive habits that make you feel good. But also and maybe more importantly - because you said you were going to do something and you did it.

This is possibly (probably) more important than the habit itself. It’s you showing up for you. It’s becoming someone you can rely on. It’s regaining trust in yourself that you’ve probably eroded over the years - every time you said you were going to do or commit to something but didn’t. Every time you knew better but did worse anyways.

And it’s zero hate or judgement towards that version of you. Because many of us have to betray ourselves just enough times in order to reach the breaking point of being fed up with our own bullshit. To finally realize the importance, the sanctity of doing what we say we’re going to do.

When you abandon yourself, you also abandon 5-year-old you. And you abandon 80-year-old you. And so you abandon the life and goals you say you dream of and are allegedly committed to reaching. You abandon the vision of your life that plays like a movie in your head, that feels just out of reach. But comes within reach if you would do what you said you would do.

I’ll end with this - this post is not about hustle culture or being hard on yourself. That actually defeats the whole purpose and also doesn’t work. If you don’t feel excited and ready + able to see a new habit through, that’s OK. When you’re ready, it will come naturally. It will be hard, but you will be unrelenting in your devotion and pursuit of it. I could not think of a darker, more morbid hell than life without sugar. But when I could no longer deny the negative impact it was having on my mental, physical and spiritual health, you couldn’t have paid me $100k to break my detox and eat sugar.

Be patient and kind with yourself. Choose habits your soul feels called to and ready for. They can be as small as you want. Getting flowers for your home every week. Meditating for 5 minutes at some point in the day. Going for an hour walk once a week. The act of showing up for yourself everyday in a new habit and commitment is half the benefit. And when you see yourself accomplishing and not wavering on the small habits, you naturally become motivated and move towards bigger, scarier, more life-changing ones.

Discalimer: I know nothing, don’t listen to me.